Below is the full talk with our notes. Mr Fry’s thoughts are in italics, with our notes that follow.

It makes you so angry at the division in the world where people like that are paid nothing and get almost no respect.

Author’s note: Yes this is important. Income disparities around the world have impacted education.

When I first went to school, a proper school as you might say, it rapidly became apparent to me that I was bad at everything that all the other children were good at. I couldn't catch a ball or run in a straight line without colliding with a tree or tripping over my own feet. I couldn't swim, I couldn't sing or play an instrument, I couldn't draw or paint, and I really felt inadequate.

Author’s note: Yes, many children feel this way - the key is the growth mindset. To say it’s ok, we will find out what you are good at and work on what you are not.

But there was an occasion which sort of sparked off a bit of confidence. This music teacher was writing on the board, she wrote the word "Orchestra" in big capital letters as she was going to give us a lesson about the elements of the orchestra. I shouted out "Cart horse," and she said, "What?" I said, "You know, it's an anagram." And she said, "How did you know that?" I said, "Well, I could just see it." She gave me a frowning look that I thought was disappointment, but in fact, she asked me to stay behind, and she talked to me about things.

Author’s note: Interesting, but we diverge here. Not everyone can see ‘anagrams’. However, that doesn’t mean you won’t be a great writers or student of English and the classics. Of course we doubt Mr Fry would suggest that either.

Then around that time, I started Latin at school, and I loved it. Unlike other boys who saw it as a terrible chore to understand, I thought it was like a game, like a code game, where you could substitute one word for another. It just became interesting. They then asked if I would like to learn Ancient Greek, and I said, "Oh, yes!" It was even more of a code because it had different letters. So, I learned to write my name with Greek characters and learned the Greek alphabet, of course, and then started to learn the language and loved it. Like Susie Dent on Countdown, I just love etymology, the origin of words.

Author’s note: What is interesting about this is how children used to find these different games more interesting. As we point out on our article on Dopamine (link here), is how children today are over stimulated by the internet. In the ‘good old days’ kids enjoyed word games.

This was perfect in Greek because the Greek book I was given, since I was the only one doing Greek, would have a new noun or verb, like "gramma" (to write), and it would say you can easily remember the meaning of "gramma" because of words like grammar and "telegraph," which is a piece of writing from a distance, which is what "tele" is, remote, and "graphane" to write. I remember turning a page and it had a verb "thaumazo" and it said you can easily remember this by thinking of the English word "thaumaturge." I remember looking down and thinking, "I quite like words and things, but 'thaumaturge'?" And it turns out "thaumaturge" is an English word; it just means a worker of wonders, a worker of miracles. "Thauma" is the work.

Author’s note: This of course is the prime example of a classical education - Mr Fry’s generation knew the etymology of many words.

That set me on the path to believing there was something I could do. This was a boarding school, and at night, I would read stories with a torch under the bed. I was the dormitory reader, and I would sometimes make up stories, you know, make up ghost stories. Despite being appalling at games, dyspraxic really, I just really couldn't do anything—climb a rope, I mean, God, the sight of it.

Well, we're all dys-something, yes, exactly, that's the point, isn't it? So you find you don't know what you're good at, find out what you're dys at, and what's left after all the dyses is that, exactly. And this is what I say if I do sometimes go to schools and things. They'll say, "Well, you know, all these things," and I'll ask, "What do you like then?" And the kid says, "Football." And I'll ask, "Which team?" He tells me his team, and I say, "So you can name all the players on your team?" Of course, he could. I say, "But you couldn't name any other teams, could you, because you like your team?" And he goes through the whole Premier League naming every single team, their manager, and where they've been before. I say, "You see, your brain is incredible. I couldn't catch up with you there. You've got an amazing brain."

Author’s note: And so this is interesting. People’s capacity to use their brain is clear. The challenge is to use it for productive means. And so Mr Fry rightly is amazed by this capacity to remember hundreds of names and results. The question for us today is how to make productive effort enjoyable - that is the real puzzle for us and our kids.

You have to remind people that taxi drivers in London are a really good example. You know that the "Knowledge," which is what London black cab drivers have to learn, is their exam. They pass where they have to have a meeting, and the examiner says, "Take me from the South Kensington Tube entrance to Upper Street in Islington." They have to recite to the examiner: "Turn left there, right at the lights, comply with the lights, center lane, pass, and then name the buildings they're passing, because if they're important buildings like hotels and clubs, they should know them." It's an astounding piece of knowledge that these people have to master. A lot of them left school very early because they were told they didn't have an academic brain. The discovery that their brain could master all this information, famously more than a lawyer has to learn to pass a law degree, suddenly made them realize they weren't the dunces they were told they were.

Author’s note: And of course the ‘Knowledge’ is now redundant with the use of SatNav and the internet, and yet cab driver sit it. One explanation is that it is a type of 'Guild’ based approach to entry - only the right type of person becomes a Black Cab driver - one dedicated enough to do the Knowledge. It is an astonish feat. However, it comes back to this point about individual capacity - many people are capable of incredible feats with their mind. It is really about feeding them the right material.

Next week, I'm going to Paris for a night, taking the train, but I'm hosting the Global Teacher Awards at the UNESCO building in Paris, which is something I've done before. It is astounding. The teachers are from all over the world—Bangladesh, Peru, London—and all these teachers who are nominated, I mean, the ones on the long list are amazing enough, but then when you get to the short list, the work they do, the inspiration they are—they make you so angry at the division in the world where people like that are paid nothing and get almost no respect. Yes, there are these awards, but they won't make the front pages in the newspapers, let's be honest. These people are more charismatic, dedicated, and useful than almost anybody you're likely to meet in your life, and they pass that message to their children. They make their children feel capable, and it's so important.

Author’s note: We are in full agreement. Teachers, particularly those who work in difficult conditions, are the pillars of our society - their dedication is incredible, and we need to work out how to create a society where this is celebrated again.

The wolf dad. The following image was conjured up by ChatGPT:

Imagine a sleek, muscular wolf with sharp, focused eyes, standing tall and poised, giving off an air of intelligence and determination. Its fur is dark and well-groomed, symbolising strength and attention to detail. This wolf could be imagined sitting by a forest’s edge, reading ancient scrolls or studying the movements of its surroundings with great precision. Its posture is disciplined, every action calculated, reflecting a deep curiosity and a constant quest for knowledge. This combination of physical power and mental sharpness makes it both masculine and studious, embodying wisdom alongside strength.

Yes, this type of dad exists, and you run into them at elite schools. They may have high flying jobs, but they are equally focused upon the development of their children.

The point is that educating children for elite schools is a team sport. The tiger mum gets an unfair amount of focus and criticism, for there is without a doubt a wolf dad archetype that is visible at top schools.

And the reason for this is obvious. There is a need to recognise causation versus correlation.

It is not that children at top schools happen to have parents that are both focused on academic success. It is that parents with such focus are disproportionately likely to have kids who are academically successful.

Why is that?

Well it is quite simple. Assuming that nurture matters over nature (i.e. your child isn’t genetically predisposed to being a genius - sorry but it is unlikely), then it is a question of focus.

Simply put, a child's brain is a neural network. When they ask the question ‘why’, which they frequently do, the more fully fledged and complete the response, the more it helps them build a consistent view of the world. Having access to parental resources that do that matters.

The ability to consistently do that is boosted materially by having access to both parents. Further, fathers can bring a different dimension to learning - they may be more likely to have an interest in certain topics, which their mother does not focus on. Mums may be on top of their science, whilst dads know their history - or vice versa.

Finally, it is simply a function of having two pairs of hands in dealing with academia. One parent is plainly half the resources of two parents. Today with access to the internet, any willing parent can become a dutiful teacher of their child, and having two willing to undertake those tasks is better than one. This doubling of capacity, in tandem with online resources, goes a long way.

Anecdotal evidence

Given the degree of opacity around this issue it is difficult to demonstrate. However, our experience of this comes from our parent networks and those of our friends. There is an undeniable correlation on parental chats, and across different schools, and cohorts, between highly academically performing schools and the degree of involvement by both parents.

Of course some parents augment the process with tutors. How a parent utilises tutors is important. Outsourcing entirely likely won’t work. A tutor is often a specialist in their subject, but won’t be focused exclusively on the progress of your child. Utilising tutors to buy time and knowledge works, whilst completely outsourcing responsibility does not - i.e. don’t expect to just pay for a stable of tutors and get results: parents have to be involved.

Most kids aren’t born geniuses. Those are rare indeed - one in a million or a billion - for most kids, the question is how they are nurtured, and the degree of resources they have access to - and of those the most valuable are their parents’ time.

Cajoling children to get on with the hard graft of preparing for examinations is difficult. Like any competition, when it comes to demanding examinations, a fraction of it is about learning new and interesting things, and much of it is about practice.

For practice is the difference between understanding a topic, and getting the highest marks in a competitive process. That second part is far less interesting for anyone, let alone a 7 year old.

The challenge for parents is balancing the source of motivation. Neuroscientists cite two types of motivation: extrinsic and intrinsic.

Extrinsic motivation is an external reward for effort. It may be sweets or some TV time, after a bout of demanding work.

Intrinsic motivation is the inner motivation that is the result of satisfaction - it is the motivation that comes from effort and satisfaction that effort has been worthwhile.

Stop using sweets and gaming

Parents have a propensity of slipping into some understandably alluring, but ultimately damaging habits.

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The question becomes even more relevant when considering the goal. For many it is about a path to a reputable university, and thereafter suitable employment. In an effort to support less privileged students, universities have announced efforts to take in more children from non-fee paying schools.

The open letters from heads of prestigious fee paying schools decrying the quota systems applied to students from elite schools reflects concern in the private school parental community.

And when you look at the AI generated image above, you would think why not tax these schools more? However, more often than not, AI is representative of the cliche view on an issue - that algorithm sifts through available material to compose it’s representation. Doubtless, that image above, created by ChatGPT, is similar to that conjured up in the minds of millions of voters, when they think of a private school.

For most middle class parents though, fee-paying schools are far less glamorous. They are a sacrifice made to give their children a better start. And so in these challenging economic times, we thought a comprehensive piece on the subject would be useful.

We grapple with some thought provoking questions in this piece. First, we provide a basic categorisation of private schools. We then consider what private schools are really looking for in kids, and yes, parents. Private schools have many advantages, beyond those listed in glossy brochures, and we grapple with the most important benefits that no one talks about. Finally, we get to the critical question - the skills of the future, in an uncertain age of automation (AI, robotics, etc), and consider what how privates schools contribute, and if you are not at a private school, how you can ensure it isn’t a disadvantage to your child.

So let’s dive in.

First let’s set out a crude topography of the world of private schools.

Not all private schools are the same

One important caveat is that not all private schools are the same. There are rankings that list schools by their academic performance, and those in the top set (top 20) likely prize academic achievement more than the rest.

This crude chart below is a useful taxonomy of schools and their cultures, that permits us to dive into the costs and benefits of the various types of schools.

So we have created a chart above for you to think about the type of school that exists, in the private space, but also more generally.

Type A above are the elite schools. Top of the academic tables, often with the most students going to the next preferred destination (elite university, etc), and very challenging to gain entry to. They have a competitive culture, attract the right type of students (and associated competitive parents - see an article about those highly driven stereotypes here) and produce great results.

Type B is a unicorn - we don’t know any that exist. They produce great results, with a relaxed culture. Perhaps that is where technology comes in. That said with technology, individuals like Elon Musk want to set up schools that have a material improvement on the current system - may be they will get us to that utopia. The Creative Writing platform InkGenius.Tech (link here) is one example of how technology can make learning both easier and more effective.

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Competitive parents in the academic rat race are more likely to divulge family secrets than the name of an effective tutor: for competent private teachers, that deliver results are a rare breed indeed.

Alexander the Great of course had one of the world’s most famous tutors: Aristotle. The question is, in the modern world, what is the role of a tutor and how do you measure whether or not they are worth acquiring.

There are a number of reasons why parents engage tutors, and we go through them here, so you can assess whether it makes sense for you. We would list them as knowledge of the academic market place; outsourcing of time and competence; and finally, sometimes it is because getting a tutor is what everyone else does. Let’s go through those reasons. There are also some significant disadvantages, both in terms of the process and the results. We grapple with those at the end.

Why do parents engage a tutor?

It comes has a surprise to parents, particularly to those that may have shelled out for a private school, that they then may need extra support to help their child keep pace with the requisite standards.

The reason is simple. We live in a competitive system, and so there is a race to deliver the best resources to one’s child.

A child’s primary resource of course is their parents; that is the source that is available to them the most, and is most interested in their welfare.

Those who can afford it, may send their children to private schools - those institutions come at a price but have many benefits. The type of school may not be the determining factor.

The most commonly known resource beyond parents and schools are tutors.

Armed with these resources, children are engaged in a competitive process of examinations that lead up to various types of higher educations, and then in turn vocations.

When viewed holistically, it is clear that tutors are but one more resource on this journey.

Schools vary substantially in their offerings. State schools are limited in resources due to constraints on their budget. Teachers and staff do the best they can with the resources they have, but may not have the bandwidth to stretch particularly able children.

By contrast, private schools market themselves on their ability to render more personalised attention, but there to there is some variance. Private schools are keen on retaining their brand, typically measured by standings in the results league table, for that is how they attract the next batch of parents.

If your child is not on track to deliver the apt academic results, then the school may let you know they are falling behind, and eventually you may even be told ‘the school isn’t quite right for your child’. Yes, the private system can be quite unforgiving.

In state schools such awkward conversations are rarely indulged. Short of extreme disciplinary infractions, most state schools do what they can with the limited resources they have.

Parents of children at state schools, with ambitions beyond their peers, often engage tutors to attempt to outperform and attain higher educational grades and goals.

And so that in summary is why tutors are sought. They are an additional resource that is commonly thrown into the mix to assist a child’s education.

Knowledge of the academic market place

This may be the single most useful aspect of a tutor. The exam market place is competitive. What this means is that the standard for passing into a particular school, keeps changing. Most teachers admit that the standards today are far more exacting than a decade ago: the rat-race has become absurdly competitive. That has some unhealthy repercussions for children, but for the moment we will focus on the problem as it is. We have other ideas for a different approach in future articles.

A good tutor, with a broad range of students, will have some idea of how different students are faring, and thoughts on what is required in a particular year to stay ahead.

They of course know the official government syllabus, but they also know how many years ahead students’ are: i.e. how good the writing standard needs to be to compete with a cohort in a given year.

Outsourcing time and competence

When hiring a private tutor, you are essentially engaging their expertise: time spent teaching kids in a particular subject. They will have tools and resources built up over their career that you as a parent do not have. A tutor will be more aware of the syllabus, and how to teach that syllabus, for no other reason than the fact it is their job - they would have done this task for numerous children, and improved through the process.

That immediately makes them better equipped than a parent, and so you are willing to spent money and time (in taking your child to and from the tutor), in exchange for that expertise.

It could make sense to outsource the effort of additional teaching either because you want to buy that competence, or you lack the time to do the same. That said, other than with remote engagement, there is often a cost to third-parties as you navigate busy cities, sit in traffic and wait for your child’s lesson to end.

Hiring a tutor because that is what everyone does

Often engaging a tutor is simply a process of following the herd. The trouble with that is that you have relinquished control of the process. Those parents who do succeed, are more likely to be those in charge of the process of educating their children, taking key decisions, assessing their child’s progress, and making changes as required. Simply outsourcing the process blindly to a third-party, who cannot be as vested in the process as you are, is a formula for failure. At the very least, if you are engaging a tutor, you should insist upon transparency and accountability.

The disadvantages of tutoring

There are some material disadvantages to tutoring, however in the absence of using smarter tools and process, it is the only approach open to most parents.

The disadvantages are:

a) Results: the best tutors now, like schools, have pre-tests to ensure they get the best students. The argument goes that if students aren’t ‘ready’ then they can’t help get them into the right schools. It also helps the tutors’ statistics when children they work with get good schools - the whole system has become a little topsy-turvy, when you need to pass a test to hire a tutor.

b) Enthusiasm: The time and effort of ferrying your child to tutoring and the extra-work load are all very taxing. They take a long term toll on the child’s enthusiasm for learning. A better approach is a more efficient method, ideally from home, that spares the child this rigorous and difficult schedule.

c) Time & Cost: When preparing for exams, having an inefficient process is not optimal, and may not achieve the desired results. For example, a tutor may set exercises twice a week. A more efficient process, may break down the work into smaller, bite-size, daily tasks. The latter is easier to digest and results in faster growth. Platforms like InkGenius.Tech (link here), aim to do just that.

d) Transparency: Most parents have no idea whether the work their child is doing with their tutor is working. Over a period of weeks or months they may see little improvement, but by then it may be too late.

The primary problem is that not all tutors are Aristotle: it is a big market place, with widely varying standards.

The result is that the tutor you engage and the results you get, could be a bit of a lottery - and no one is keen on spending so much time and effort on a process that is in reality simply pot luck.

A wide spectrum of tutors

The marketplace for tutors is vast. In a world where employment is increasingly scarce, college kids start tutoring business and join tutoring platforms, and the market place extends up to those teachers with decades of experience.

The pricing is often commensurate to the experience, though paying more doesn’t always guarantee a better result.

The criteria that would set a tutor apart are (a) knowledge of the landscape (schools and exams), (b) tried and tested methods for teaching effectively and (c) a track record of effective teaching and accompanying results.

It goes without saying that a young person who has recently left school is unlikely to be an optimal tutor, as they will lack many of those requisites. At the more experienced end, you are likely to find competent teachers, however assessing them against the criteria above may not be straight forward.

How to improve the outcome with tutoring

For those parents willing to be hands on, the ideal solution is to have oversight of your child’s journey. Engaging a tutor is fine, as long as you do not outsource the process entirely. Monitor the syllabus, and the exam goals, and stay on top of your child’s academic journey.

Those acts of demanding accountability and transparency ensures that you know what you are getting for your money, and whether you are on track to meet your goals.

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